QotD 11/25/10

Monika: Joey and Steven were legit trying to kill me! One was jumping on my head and the other was trying to set me on fire!

QotD 9/22/10

Mom: Where'd you put my phone?
Melissa: It's in the snack bag, in the granola bar box.
Mom: umm.
Melissa: Why, where do you normally keep it?

QotD 06/12/10

Chiefs says he doesn't want to hear about health food.
Mat: Tofu!
Chiefs: I like tofu.
Me: Soy!
Chiefs: I like Soy del Metro.

QotD 5/24/10

Jenn, answering the phone: Hello?... I'm in the middle of writing you a nasty email, can you hold on a minute?

QotD 4/9/10

Valerie (hearing a can pop in the next cube at 12pm): Having your first beer of the day?
Don: Third. (long pause) Want one?

QotD 4/7/10

Discussing summer hours, which aren't company wide so are a big secret.
Pat: Remember, don't tell anyone. No leaving it on your out of office email, no messages on your voice mail, nothing. Don't tell anyone.
Chris: Not even my family?

QotD 1/29/10

2 today

Koreen: I need to sit with you.
Ray: Monday.
Koreen: No, now!
Ray: Monday.
Koreen: I'm only here in the morning on Monday.
Ray: Until what time?
Koreen: When does the morning end?!
Ray: Noon.
Koreen: There you go.

------
{this is all one sentence, no pause, and I have no idea what he was talking about}
Harry (on the phone): I thought you'd be dead you're so stupid.

QotD 1/1/10

Talking about getting bisons to kill and make bison burgers.
Chiefs: We'll get two, one in the pool and one on the lawn.
Me: Does the pool have water in it?
Chiefs: Yes.
Me: You can't put it in the pool! It'll drown!
Chiefs: No, we're going to get a water buffalo.