QotD 7/31/09

QotD 7/31/09
Monika: I saw my reflection in the door and thought it was some woman!
Me: Did you bump into her?
Monika: Yes.
Me: Did you aplogize?
Monika: No. She looked like a b*tch.

QotD 7/30/09

QotD 7/30/09
Screen goes black while we're watching a soccer game, comes back on a few moments later.
Walter (who is black): Black power!

QotD 7/26/09

2 today:

Matt, to Jenn: We need your lawerly opinion. If I burned down Giants Stadium, how much time would I get?
Jay: That would be grand arsonry.

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At the USA vs. Mexico game at Giants Stadium in NJ, where there are roughly 79,000 Mexican fans and 1,000 US fans.
Corey: So, is this your first time in Mexico?

QotD 7/16/09

Debating Jewish eating restrictions.
Noah: Pigs aren't clean, they chew on themselves.
GPrime: That's because they know they're delicious.

QotD 7/8/09

My cousins and I were telling jokes while we made dinner.
Courtney: What's the sleepiest thing on a Thanksgiving table?
Steve and I guessed turkey, mashed potatoes, tablecloth, etc.
Me, looking in fridge as I guess: Sweet potatoes?
Steve, thinking I'm offering: No thank you.

QotD 7/7/09

My cousin Amber, 5 years old, showing me a dress: What if I wear this with my new pink skirt?
Me: Well, no, you can't wear a dress with a skirt.
Amber: I can make it work.

QotD 7/5/09

I'm a bit of a crazy driver.
Me, driving fast to keep up with a friend in a Mustang: You have your seatbelt on, right Steve?
Steve: Uh, duh.