QotD 12/14/08

At an Ironmen game, watching the... cheerleaders? They were dressed as elves.
Larry: Are those Ironmen dancers? They look like ho elves.

QotD 12/10/08

(note: yes, this one is going to me. I'm making an exception because Antony nominated me and Tara seconded it and told me that meant I got an automatic induction)
Me, on IM with Antony: phone sex is for guys too lazy to go find a prostitute

QotD 12/6/08

Watching Kung Fu Panda, where the bad guy is a tiger who does kung fu and beats up a bunch of animals and terrorizes the town.
Matt (turns to Roxann): And that's why you can't have a tiger.

QotD 12/3/08

I was on the phone:
Me: He said he'll call you back.
Ed: Okay, have him call me back.
Me (tempted to say no): Umm... ok.

QotD 12/2/08

Talking about Miley Cyrus:
Beth: She's such a brat.
Me: Yeah... I'm sure she's just a normal 15-year-old girl.
Beth: Yeah, I guess. We just have to listen to HER.

QotD 11/27/08

Liz: Do you have any pets?
Aunt Debbie: I have a dead cat in a box.

QotD 11/9/08

Kids at a Red Bulls game in Houston: Boo, Red Bulls!
Leon: Boo, kids!

QotD 11/2/08

Greg, after running 26 miles in the NYC marathon: my legs are exhausted, I need a barstool.

QotD 10/27/08

Talking about following the Red Bulls to Houston on their playoff run.
Mom: Maybe the team will do something for you while you're there. Besides the tickets.
Melissa: Like, win?

QotD 10/19/08

2 quotes today

At the dinner table one night, talking about nothing in particular, when:
Monika: in prison... (conversation stops)


-----
John, coming out of the corn maze at the wrong exit: Where'd the farm go?!?

QotD 10/18/08

I invited Monika to a day in the country, complete with a 5 acre corn maze
Monika: 5 acres of confusion! That's what I'm talking about!

QotD 10/11/08

Paul (to a drunk Schneidermann): Sir, would you like some words with that slur?

QotD 10/1/08

My coworker, on the phone with a client:
Jenn: I will hurt you! And members of your family!

QotD 9/27/08

We were discussing which of our family members smoke pot/have smoked pot in the past.

Monika: Your mom? I feel like life would be easier if she did...

QotD 9/26/08

We had a staff meeting and the weather was bad out and I was sure the lights flickered twice but no one else saw it. A little later, I was sitting with one of my account executives.
Me: I swear the lights just flickered again!
Ray: Stop blinking.

QotD 9/20/08

Melissa: I may be retarded when it comes to guys, but I'm not an idiot!

QotD 9/14/08

Two for today, good weekend!

1) I have two dogs. One is all black, one has a streak of white under her chin.
John: How do you tell them apart?
Tara: Jazzy is the one with chest hair.

2) Aunt Arlene: Pull up a chair and sit on the floor!

QotD 9/13/08

Three of them today, how crazy is that?

1) Jenn: "I started drinking and smoking at my 11th birthday party."
Rebecca: "Did you have parents?"

2) Guy in front of us at the game, he was ESC so he was jumping and yelling and all that, turns around and says: "Shhh! I'm trying to watch a soccer game!"

3) After my boyfriend and I got back to a party after taking a walk, my cousin Monika: "Eww, you smell like saliva."

QotD 9/12/08

Discussing the "Twighlight" series:
Me: I'm reading the second book.
Tara: The second book... that one's good! Until it gets bad!

QotD 9/6/08

Antony: What stops me from eating is-
Melissa: You run out of food?

QotD 7/30/08

I had called my cousins to make sure we were going to the movies, X-Files. Steven pretended I was a telemarketer while we talked. Got to their house, he thought it had been Melissa who called, pretending to be a telemarketer. Got in the car and Monika had her own theories.
Monika: I bet it was an alien pretending to be Melissa pretending to be a telemarketer!
Joey: Again??

QotD 7/27/08

Talking about hair, cutting it, styling it, etc.
Monika to Rudy: Remember when your hair was longer? And I straightened it? And I promised not to tell anyone but I just told everyone...

QotD 7/26/08

We're talking about a friend who lied to us.
Aunt Arlene: I hate being lied to.
Steven: I've been down that road and it's not fun.
Aunt Arlene: You've been lied to.
Steven: No, I've lied to you. And it is not good!

QotD 6/15/08

Roxann: I plead the 9th- I was too drunk to remember.